Ooooh!Dark 30

Sex and War. Put 'em together, you get Marriage.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Someone's compensating. . .

Take a look at this cartoon. This is the latest chunk of fecal matter from Ted Rall, who either has a problem with his own sexuality and has let this destroy his drawing ability, or has a pretty rich and twisted fantasy life, because when my boyfriend came to visit me after serving in Iraq, I don't think we did any of the things in that cartoon... ok, he's got me on the tying down thing, though, but unlike any fumbling attempts at coitus Mr. Rall has tried, let's just say it was a "Mission:Accomplished".

But - -on the brighter side. . .

Bruce Willis, out to counteract some of the naysayers of the Iraqi conflict, has announced plans to make a movie about the soldiers involved, specifically the Deuce-four(1stBatt. 24th Inf. ) in their battles in Mousul. But those who've been paying attention (like myself) have seen this coming if you read any of the entries from blogger Michael Yon. Michael Yon is a freelance journalist who was embedded with the Deuce Four (also called The Punishers - -which is a GREAT title for a movie, hint-hint) and his dispaches have presented a thoroughly human side and a positive counterpoint to convernional coverage.

Mr. Rall could learn a thing or two about manhood from these men. Rall isn't worthy of the freedoms preserved by men like this.


(Credit to Michael Yon's Online Magazine)

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Tom Cruise needs to Come out of the Closet!

"The first time Stan said that, i thought to myself, 'are they saying what I think they're saying?' When they repeated it, then I had no doubt." ~ M. , the boyfriend.


So my boyfriend tore me away from watching CSI:NY tonight. GOD, am I glad I did that, because I caught one of the funniest (and probably most imporant) episodes of South Park known to man or woman. . . for those of you who missed it, here's a, rundown :

Stan's depressed (meh, he always struck me as more of a mensch than Kyle ever did) over religon, which is understandable. So, he stumbles on the Church of Scientology - - herein lies the genius of this episode and the entire South Park series, Trey and Matt have pulled no punches- - and they tell him --suprise,suprise--he needs help, which they will give...for a price, of course. (just because it's a church doesn't mean it's cheap!)
So, Stan sits for an auditing session. . .and Lo and Behold! It's revealed that Stan Marsh is L.Ron Hubbard (BTW, this link is from the CO$ *T*) re-incarnated. This sends the scientologists into a tizzy, bringing out the head of Scientology and it's celebrity spawn, including , you guessed it- -

He shows up in Stan's room (stalking is simply the logical conlcusion to the couch jumping), and when Stan besmirches his impeccable acting skills - - placing him as not as good as Leo DiCaprio, he disappears into. . .the closet,refusing to come out. which becomes an everlasting source of humor. . ."Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet." He eventually is joined by John Travolta and R. Kelly, who was previously was threatening to 'cap a bitch'.
Meanwhile, Stan is told by the head of the church what the scientologists really believe - - for the initiated, YES, he talks about the DC-8's and the movies and the Thetans. For those who have no clue what this means, the linky takes you there.(After you read it, I will repeat the text on the screen during this part of the episode : this is what scientologists ACTUALLY BELIEVE) Stan's told to write a new chapter and "continue" L.Ron Hubbard's teachings. Stan meekly suggests that because we're a church, maybe we shouldn't pay for this knowlege - - The head loses it, letting slip that maybe all of this isn't true after all, and forces Stan to continue writing. (R. Kelly goes into the closet, but not after the FUNNIEST singing exchange since...I don't know) Finally, the plucky kid can't take it anymore, and at his "coronation", he lets it out - -he's not L.Ron Hubbard reincarnated, and it's all one big charade. In the face of the truth, what do the scientologists do?

Well, what they usually do - - Sue.


And this is what you missed. Part of me wonders if the CO$ will do what it always does- - sue Trey Parker and Matt Stone. . .I mean Messrs. Smith. This is a group that has followed journalists around ( The author of the May 6, 1991 Time Article "The Thriving Cult of Greed and Power" speaks of being intimidated) and it even motivated Mark Ebner of Spy Magazine to
"Dead Agent" himself in the opening paragraph of his article on the group:
I am an ex-drug addict who has solicited prostitutes in my day. I've also masturbated and inhaled at the same time, and I have been arrested more than once in my life. I dropped out of high school, and I've been under psychiatric care. Oh yeah, and I owe the IRS roughly six thousand dollars that they are well aware of.
Most of you kinda were aware of this - -many people believed that something WAS off in the kingdom of 'ol L. Ron. . .but this Episode of South Park was a funny confirmation of a sad truth.

(P.S- - watch the credits! )


(Hat tip to Boing Boing via

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Exuses that you don't want to hear, and Part two of the story

I'm really sorry about this delay ( promise it won't happen again) You can blame Wilma for part of this, but the rest is me just being a slacker ass. But what do you care... More Story! More Story!


At Loose Ends, Part Two

Now was the time to get a little rough. He pulled her head sharply, so quickly that there was still saliva glistening on his shaft.

“Trying to get me out of fucking you, you little slut? That’s not fair.” He pulled her leash she looked up at him again. He ran his hands down her chest, pulling again on that clipped nipple. She cried out. “Now bend over.”

She leaned over the chair; Mac then came around in front of her, holding the blindfold. She obediently put her head in his hands as he slipped the satin blindfold over her eyes. She was effectively blind now, her legs spread. She felt his hands stroke along the side of her body as he came behind her. Cathy’s panties were still on, but the crotch was soaked, Mac could smell it, and he felt his mouth water. He leaned in behind her, placing his hands on her round ass, then moved them up to her hips as he pulled her panties off. Her labia were swollen and wet. He leaned and gave a slow lick along the edge of her lip, up, up toward her clitoris.

“Mac, oh god- - please! I’m so close to cumming, dammit!”

He pulled away, her moisture still on his lips, and licked it off. Sweet. He leaned back to whisper in her ear.

“You DO taste good.” He licked his fingers. “But I still think you need a little tenderizing.” He slid her hands back over her ass to her pussy again, inserting two fingers inside her again. He curled his fingers back and started to stroke against a hard spot inside her. That brought even more moisture.

“You know,” he said, while reaching for the paddle, “Before there’s pleasure, there’s always a little pain.”

The wood of the paddle was surprisingly smooth, and felt cool. Mac saw the gooseflesh rise on her skin as he ran the edge of the paddle against her ass.

“What are you doing back there, Mac?”

That was answered with a resounding smack to her behind. Cathy wanted to cry out, but she didn’t, and bit her lip instead. Mac’s fingers were still inside her, pressing against that hard spot. Cathy began to move her hips along with his fingers, biting her lips at the pain of the paddle against her tender ass, but squealing at the feel of his fingers deep inside. She was longing for something else to fill and satisfy her, and Mac felt it was time after teasing her for a good while. His cock was getting hard again, and he edged up close to her opening, but didn’t remove his fingers. He gave a final, gentle stroke against the hard spot inside her, but before she could savor and orgasm, he removed his fingers and slid inside her.

Cathy’s back arched and she tried to get up on her knees to lean up against him, she was reaching back for him, to take in his warmth over all of her.

“No, no, no, Cathy,” Mac whispered. “Not yet.” She was so tight and warm as he slid deeper into her. He pulled her bound wrists away from him and placed them on her chest, using her own body to push further onto him. He began to fall into a rhythm, moving in concert with her gasps and moans. He ran his hands along her sides up to her shoulders and to her neck, where he started to gently tug on her clipped nipples. She moaned again, her body curling inward pushing, tightening herself further. He could no longer hold on, and he shot off into her with a moan.

Cathy felt it, felt Mac’s grip loosen on her. She smiled. The game had changed.

“Mac. . .” She said it gently, slowly. She worked off her blindfold, and looked back over her shoulder. Mac leaned back and withdrew from her. She turned around, now on her back, a foot resting on Mac’s bare shoulder. “Detective Taylor, you have been a very, VERY bad cop. Now uncuff me and go to my room.”

He did as he was told. The game HAD changed.

Cathy stopped at her fridge. She wasn’t always prepared for events like this, but- - somehow the stars had aligned for her to have some ice, some cherries and whipped cream in her possession. She picked up these items, along with the chain and blindfold. Before entering, she finally eased off her bra. Damn thing was uncomfortable as hell, anyway.

She entered. Mac was lying on her bed, eyes closed. Wussy. But, it was for the best. Taking the sash from her bathrobe, she slowly tied his hands to the iron poles in the headboard of her bed. He opened his eyes. “Oh, Jesus.”

She smiled and impish smile. “You’re gonna be screaming for all of heaven when I’m done witcha.”

“You’re gonna ride me this time?” He bucked his hips with a wink.

“Oh, I’ll ride you, but I get to pick where I wanna go.” She slid off the bed and looked at him, licking her lips hungrily, pacing like a tiger. He had brought her so close so many times, and after that orgasm he was still hard. Damn him. For someone under that much stress, his body wore it well. He was staring at her with those brilliant light blue eyes, his muscles tensed, waiting for her because she was now in control of the situation.

She crawled onto the bed, running her hands up his legs, leaning in close to the skin of his inner thigh, licking dangerously close to the base of his cock. But that wasn’t the point of this. She kissed up his belly button, the licking there giving a hint of what she wanted. Slowly circling, flicking upward and back down. She now was straddling him, his cock behind her. She leaned forward to stroke his hair and his lips caught her unclipped nipple. His tongue slowly flicked it as she reached down to slide a finger between her labia and slowly rub herself as he found himself tasting her breast. She slowly pulled away.

Wordlessly, she positioned her knees on either side of his head and lowered herself onto his face while stroking his hair. He looked up at her and let his tongue graze against her inner thigh, up towards the crease in her leg. She looked down at him, his eyes betraying mischievous lust and the simple enjoyment of the sweetness of her taste. He ran his tongue up toward Cathy’s slit as she lowered herself closer. She could feel his hot breath on her folds followed by his tongue trailing behind, lapping up close to her heat within. He dragged his tongue along her hood, bringing her body down even closer to Mac’s face, leaning back to watch him taste and stimulate her. He made eye contact, and she leaned back even further as he moved his tongue side to side over her now visible pearl like clit, then wrapped his lips around it and sucked. That brought out a moan from Cathy’s lips as she entwined her fingers in Mac’s hair. He opened his mouth a little wider, sliding his tongue down further as he slid his tongue inside her.

That started the bucking. She ground her hips over his tongue, slowly rolling her hips over as his tongue flicked in and out of her. She was getting closer, he could taste it. She looked down at him, her eyes glazed over in sheer ecstasy. Mac moved his face deeper between her thighs, his tongue deeper into her, working and exploring her folds. If he could breathe Cathy in, he would, but he settled to taste every shade of her. He could hear her breathe and bear down, tighten and lift off into an orgasm. He felt her let go as she did, and came down. He turned around and softly kissed her still trembling, but now sticky thighs.

He looked back up at her, and then Mac’s eyes turned toward the bowl on the bedside table. Cathy followed his eyes and smile.

“Is that what you want, Detective Taylor? To eat a cherry out of this one?”

He nodded. Cathy reached for a cherry from the bowl, and ran it along Mac’s lips. He ran his tongue over it then slowly bit into the fruit and devoured it, his mouth enveloping her fingers, slowly sucking them.

He smiled, the cherry pit between his teeth. Cathy kissed him, removing it. “That’s it. I like that.”

She picked up another cherry, and leaned back, so that she was sitting on his stomach. She sucked on the cherry meditatively for a moment, spread her legs, and slowly placed the cherry at her opening. Mac raised an eyebrow and smiled. Cathy leaned forward.

“Now, Detective, the object is to take your time with eating the cherry without totally extricating it from inside me. Got it?” He winked.

He could taste her and the sweetness of the cherry, which made a heady combination. He rolled his tongue over as he nibbled on the cherry, his teeth glancing, careful not to hurt her. Cathy’s moans told him that he was doing quite well at this. He rolled his tongue again, back up to her clit, trying to coax it out.

“Uhhhh, YES!” Cathy once again grasped Macs hair, not pulling too hard but wanting him closer, deeper. Mac licked back to the cherry and took a nibble, then flicked back toward her opening. Nibble, flick, suck. Cathy was coming close again, and he was getting harder. He could feel it. He decided to concentrate on her clit, nuzzling it with his lips and tickling it with his tongue.

“Oh – Mac, Jesus CHRIST! Don’t STOP!” She locked eyes with him, whenever they were open. But most times they were squeezed shut, her feet working under his shoulders, as she ground down, and this time; she came with such force, the cherry popped straight into his mouth. She slid away from his face, the nibbled-on cherry between his teeth, his lips and chin soaked with her juices. He sucked on the cherry first, savoring her strong taste with the sweetness of the fruit. And he could tell by her smile that she still wanted more.

She wrapped her fingers around his shaft and stroked, gently squeezing. His hips bucked, he bit his lip as a single drop of clear fluid emerged from the head of his erect penis. Cathy reached for the ice on the bedside table and popped a sliver of ice into her mouth. She then rubbed the ice between her hands. Mac saw something at the bottom of the bowl of ice - - the chain. She pulled it out, and very gently ran the cold metal along Mac’s stomach. It tightened reflexively as she blew on the head of his cock. She then moved up a little. His organ was now lying between her breasts, now warm from all the activity. She kept the chain along his stomach. She then ran the chain close to the base of his shaft, gently wrapping it around it. The contrast between her warm breasts and their erect nipples and the chain was getting to be too much. Cathy’s mouth, now warm, wrapped itself over his head as her still cold hands worked his shaft, letting the ends drift down to his jewels. She began to take in more and more of Mac’s cock into her mouth as he felt his organ throb and explode. She pulled away from his still throbbing dick, and stared him straight in the eyes and swallowed. Mac closed his eyes, now totally spent.

When he next opened them, he was unbound, Cathy asleep next to him. He smiled to himself. He was still at loose ends about the case he came over to speak with this woman about, but – for now, he didn’t care.